I Haven’t Been Writing in a While

Johnny Silvercloud
2 min readOct 28, 2023
“I hope I don’t get killed for being Black today.” / 30 Apr 2022 / Photo Credit: Johnny Silvercloud

For those who follow me and continue to follow me — apologies.

I haven’t been writing in for a good bit. I don’t know why it’s hard to write.

Maybe it isn’t hard. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve lost a bit of something, and I need to find it and get it back.

There’s a couple of things that happened. The first thing is my diabetic neuropathy pain in my hands and feet. While I’m doing better with the pain, it’s still a factor in killing my motivation; what it does psychologically is far greater than what it does physically. The second issue is how I believe the woman in my past article created a hoax — she lied about what happened to her. So what do I do? Write a whole article explaining every single detail on how she bullshitted the entire Black Community? I didn’t feel like writing every single detail on what was found on that. The fact that I feel that it’s important to be as honest, accurate, and precise as possible is in conflict with not wanting to do it. I hate being fooled. The third part is how I quit my job and have been in a slump ever since. I quit my day job, and it’s taking a while to work again. I wasn’t happy at work. I hated how some folks talk to who they deem subordinates. Bullying, regardless of where it takes place, is something I cannot stand for. I was being anathematized in the workplace, so I had to quit. Lastly, I think I’ve been burnt out for a while. Why speak against racism and sexism when there’s so many others who are better at it?

I don’t feel worthy.

Maybe what I needed to write was this right here — my feelings.

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Johnny Silvercloud
Johnny Silvercloud

Written by Johnny Silvercloud

20 yr U.S. Army vet turned analytical street photographer who talks about power, protest, and politics. Do not defend racism or sexism when I’m in the room.

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