I Haven’t Been Writing in a While

Johnny Silvercloud
2 min readOct 28, 2023
“I hope I don’t get killed for being Black today.” / 30 Apr 2022 / Photo Credit: Johnny Silvercloud

For those who follow me and continue to follow me — apologies.

I haven’t been writing in for a good bit. I don’t know why it’s hard to write.

Maybe it isn’t hard. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve lost a bit of something, and I need to find it and get it back.

There’s a couple of things that happened. The first thing is my diabetic neuropathy pain in my hands and feet. While I’m doing better with the pain, it’s still a factor in killing my motivation; what it does psychologically is far greater than what it does physically. The second issue is how I believe the woman in my past article created a hoax — she lied about what happened to her. So what do I do? Write a whole article explaining every single detail on how she bullshitted the entire Black Community? I didn’t feel like writing every single detail on what was found on that. The fact that I feel that it’s important to be as honest, accurate, and precise as possible is in conflict with not wanting to do it. I hate being fooled. The third part is how I quit my job and have been in a slump ever since. I quit my day job, and it’s taking a while to work again. I wasn’t happy at work. I hated how some folks talk to who they deem subordinates. Bullying, regardless of where it takes place, is something I cannot stand for. I was being anathematized in the workplace, so I had to quit. Lastly, I think I’ve been burnt out for a while. Why speak against racism and sexism when there’s so many others who are better at it?

I don’t feel worthy.

Maybe what I needed to write was this right here — my feelings.



Johnny Silvercloud

20 yr U.S. Army vet turned analytical street photographer who talks about power, protest, and politics. Do not defend racism or sexism when I’m in the room.